[advice] what do do with bullying at playgrounds

[krysalyss]

I would usually say something like "no, we don't push people". Generally once an adult says it they will stop. But if they didn't I would have to put my big girl pants on (I hate conflict) and talk to the parent. Alternatively you can complain to the play centre management as they pretty much all have rules that kids need to be supervised. BTW I do get why you said it was ok to push. To be honest, although I try to teach DS how to solve conflicts without physical threats etc sometimes I wonder if I am teaching him how to live in some kind of ideal, pie in the sky society that doesn't actually exist.
Sorry you had a bad experience. Hope next time it is better!

[*EJ*]

Malyna you did what you felt was right at the time. It's a terrible feeling to see your little one being pushed around. You've now asked around and may have a few different ideas to try if there is ever a next time. Hopefully not. In a place such as a playcentre management have their rules and can take control of those situations then us as parents can feel secure in that our children are safe. Decisions made on the spur of the moment that you may have changed given the chance aren't necessarily 'bad', they're learning curves more so.

Hope you and/or your son don't have any more expereinces like that

[Livinthedream]

. BTW I do get why you said it was ok to push. To be honest, although I try to teach DS how to solve conflicts without physical threats etc sometimes I wonder if I am teaching him how to live in some kind of ideal, pie in the sky society that doesn't actually exist.
Sorry you had a bad experience. Hope next time it is better!

I wonder the same thing too.
Look at that poor 14 year kid who picked up the agressor and body slammed him. That poor bloody kid was harrassed mercilessly for months before it ended this way. Him telling an adult about this wouldnt have made one iota of difference to the way he was being treated at school.
While his reaction was far from ideal, I would be willing to bet his agressors paid him a little more respect after that incident.
I also dont believe that this kid would have gone on to become a bully as a result of him defending himself, anymore that the bullies would have stopped being bullies, they will just go and find another victim.
Maybe it doesnt hurt to understand that if you hit someone, you may have to expect to get hit back?

[LuluHB]

I have on many occasions told other kids not to push/shove/hit whatever. I never just dump and ignore my kids in parks/play centres and will also tell them to wait their turn. TBH one of my biggest gripes is mothers who use playcentres as catch ups for them with what they think is built in babysitting.

I've had one occasion a bit like ZF's where there were two little boys, each one really hassling my DDs. I told the kids off nicely a couple of times but when one of them spat at and then tried to kick my then 2yr old DD down off a platform I completely lost it, screamed at the kid, picked up my child and then screamed at his mother. She got extremely aggressive and abusive. I stayed pretty calm until she then stood between me and my other DD and wouldn't let her get to me. We were in a play area in a shopping centre and fortunately a man had been watching everything and called security. They arrived while I was doing my nut at the other mother but luckily there were about 10 people that all stepped forward and said how bad the boys were, and how offensive the other mother had been so they all got thrown out of the centre. I don't think there has ever been a time in my life when I have wanted to physically attack someone more than that day.

That was a pretty extreme example though and most parents I've found are perfectly happy with you gently telling their child they're doing something wrong. If I missed my kids doing something I wouldn't have a problem with them being told off by someone else, even a complete stranger, so long as it was in a calm way and with absolutely no touching. Kids that are continually behaving inappropriately should be taken away - not fair that other kids doing the right thing suffer for their bad behaviour.